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As always see part 1
Her breathing is getting heavy. I wonder if she's sleeping. In my arms. Donna is sleeping in my arms. Did I mention I was freaking out? No actually, I take that back, right now I'm not freaking out. Right at this second I'm completely at peace. Odd considering the hellish day I've had and the nagging reminder that I left my car in the middle of the highway. I wonder if it's Donna that provides me with this sense of peace. For a second I even imagine if this is what it would be like coming home to her after one of those stressful days that just comes with the territory of being Deputy Chief of Staff. Days when I am forced to do things that might go against my beliefs. Days that make me tired in a way that makes me reconsider my profession. But coming home to her. To this. Well maybe that's what life is really about. Look at her. I've got to touch her. So I stroke her hair. I feel her stiffen. Maybe she wasn't asleep. I bet I'm freaking her out. This is all so sudden. But then again maybe it isn't. Maybe it's the inevitable and all it took was literally the forces of nature to make me see that. "Josh." She says my name with a touch of panic. "Shh.. Donna go back to bed." I try to say this soothingly. It doesn't come out that way because before I know it she's bolted straight up and slides away from me. "I'm uh really tired Josh. I'm going to bed." She gets up. I have the urge to get up too. But I don't I just sit here on the couch like and idiot. "Yeah, it's really late. I'm pretty beat myself." As if I could really sleep! "Okay, Well here's a blanket. You can use that pillow over there." She points to the one on the couch. I can see it's shadow. The candles have almost burned out completely. "Thanks." She stands in the doorway to her bedroom. She stares at me for a moment as if she wants to say something more. "Donna." "Yes." She turns back around. "Good Night." "Good Night Joshua." My name never sounds as good as when it comes from her mouth. But she's gone now. And the room has suddenly gotten much colder. ********************************************************************* I had to get out of there. It's so hard to think with him touching me and making me feel..... Well you know how he makes me feel. It's just that I don't know if I can trust these feelings. I mean it's Josh. Josh my boss. Josh my friend. Is it worth it? I think it might be. But I don't know. Men are so fustrating. I'm all warm and toasty in my bed now. It feels good. Not as good as Josh's arms but still a nice second. I can hear him toss and turn out there on the couch. My heart aches for a second. I feel bad. That couch is small. It's hard for me to get comfortable never mind Josh. He'll never in a million years get any sleep on it. And then before I know it I'm out of bed. I'm standing in the doorway again. I'm about to do something monumentally stupid. Something I will probally regret later. "Josh, this is ridiculous." I say. He looks up. "What is?" I guess I could mean a lot of things he's right to question. "This." "A little more specific Donna?" He sounds tired. "You sleeping on the couch." This gets his attention. "It is?" I detect a note of joy in his voice. "Yes." "Where I would I sleep." Oh you know Damn well where you would sleep! "In my room." I think he chokes. "With you?" No, Josh with the cats. "We're adults right?" I try to sound confident. Like it's no big deal. Like I've shared a bed with all of my bosses. I don't think I've pulled it off. "Yes we are." Now he's got his professional voice on. It's really very silly at a time like this but hey whatever makes him feel better. "Fine then." I say as I grab his pillow and blanket for him. "Okay." His voice cracks. It's actually kind of cute. And then he follows me to my room. Yes that's right Josh is coming into my bedroom. Where I sleep. Usually alone. What am I doing?
TBC.....................
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