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Disclaimer- see Part 1 "That's Karma For You" - Part 37 "I wish it were that simple Sam." Caitlin said. Sam just stared at her. "It is that simple. You tell me you love me and forgive me then we kiss and make up." Sam said. "I want to Sam, but don't you see. I'm not the only one who needs to forgive." He looked at her confused. "Sit down." she said. Sam sat and Caitlin began to pace. "I said some things to you, things I didn't mean. I never should've kicked you out that night and I certainly never should've threatened to send the Secret Service after you." "It's ok I understand..." Sam began. "No Sam you don't." she came and sat on the coffee table in front of him. "I was so scared of being hurt. Of having my heart broken. You see Sam there was this guy..." "Mark" Sam said. "Yes. I met him in my Intro to Poli Sci class freshman year. I thought he was the be all and end all. The amazing thing was he seemed to think the same way about me. We were inseparable for two years. He was my first...well in many things." Caitlin said blushing slightly "And I loved him. I even entertained notions of our getting married after college. We actually talked about it, almost made plans." Caitlin stopped again. Sam watched her, waiting for her to go on, feeling an irrational jealousy arise towards Mark. "One day, the beginning of my Junior Year I was coming home from New Hampshire. My Dad had some gubernatorial function and I went. I came back to school a day early and decided to surprise Mark. I let myself into his apartment and found him...found him having sex with a girl from our history class. I was frozen for a moment. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I ran out of the apartment. He didn't even come after me Sam. Not until hours later did he show up at my house. It was like he had to finish being...satisfied before he could bother with me." Sam leaned over and took her hands wishing he could find this jerk and break his neck. "I expected him to apologize, ask for forgiveness. But he didn't. He said it was inevitable because I just wasn't good enough girlfriend material for him." "Oh Caitlin..." Sam began. "Now I never really knew what that meant, did he mean emotionally, physically,...sexually. I didn't know, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was a man that I loved who I thought loved me just ripped out my heart. I became a different person after that. I went wild as if trying to prove anyway I could that I was good enough, that I was attractive and desirable. I went out all the time and turned away from everyone including my family. I went home for Christmas and got into a huge fight with them. It was then that I realized that I was going down a destructive path. When I went back to school I did a complete 180. I hardly ever went out. I threw myself into my school work and my bid for Student Association President. When I won, that took up all my time so I didn't have to worry about being good girlfriend material." "You ARE good girlfriend material." Sam said coming to his knees before her, placing his hands on her waist. "Dammit you're better than good. I hate him for what he did to you." Caitlin ran her hand through his hair. "I stopped loving him fairly quickly, but I never opened myself up again. Until you." She paused feeling her throat constrict. She took his face in both her hands. "I love you more than I could ever imagine Sam, more than I ever ever loved Mark. The scariest part is that I need you. And I swore I would never need anyone again." Caitlin stood up and walked around, now comes the hard part. "Everything was going wonderfully Sam, but at the first sign of problems I felt the need to bolt before I got hurt. The jokes about my age, the problems with my father, the planner..." "I knew you didn't like that planner." Sam said sitting on the couch again. "No no. That's just the point. Last week I really looked at the planner. And you know what I realized. You didn't just walk into a store and buy it. You had it made. You listened to me when I complained about my old planner about what I hated about it, what I felt it was lacking and you made me one that was perfect." She smiled at him. "My first thoughts were that it was an unromantic gift that you hardly put any effort into. I couldn't have been more wrong." Sha came and sat down next to him again. "I am so sorry Sam, for everything. I love you and I want to be with you. Being in that bank made me realize that I want you for as long as I can have you, no matter what. Good or bad, the time that we do have is worth anything and everything to me. So you see, it's not about me taking you back, but you forgiving me." Sam watched her closely for a few moments, then got off the couch without a word and left the room. TBC
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