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Past Losses (1/4) Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me and no copyright infringement is intended. Rating: R for adult situations Pairing: Toby/Andrea Warning: This story deals with abortion and with loss of children. Please do not read if such themes are disturbing. Spoilers: "Ellie"
"I was right. You do look wonderful in formal clothes." Andrea greeted Toby at the door of the benefit. "So do you," he replied truthfully. She did look great, swathed in yards of emerald silk taffeta that set off the red of her hair beautifully. "Thank you." She smiled and curtsied a little. "Ready?" "As ready as I can be for someone who got roped into this." "You are aware that you'll be expected to speak?" "Yes. You are aware that I tossed away the notes you gave me?" "Oh, yes." She nodded and linked her arm through his. "You're a professional speechwriter. I'm sure you have something to say." "I do, but it isn't exactly fit for mixed company." "Stop being such a grouch, Toby." "Make me." "I can, you know." She smiled, running a finger lightly along the edge of his beard. Unwillingly, he smiled back at her. "Quit flirting, Andy." "Make me." ------------------- The speech went fairly well. Toby was not a good public speaker, but the feeling in his carefully chosen words more than made up for the awkward delivery. Andrea had tears in her eyes when he sat down. She wasn't the only one. "That was lovely," she whispered to him. "See? I can do something right." A thin thread of bitterness turned the smart ass comment into an accusation. "Toby..." The pain in her voice was thick and heavy, and Toby backed down almost immediately. "I'm sorry, Andy. It's just that...." "I know," she said soothingly, taking his arm and resting her head on his shoulder. "We should dance." "Sure." He got to his feet almost willingly. Anything was better than wallowing in the past. ------------------- Toby was an excellent dancer. Andy had always loved being in his arms, moving to the music. He knew how to dance properly, too. No vague swaying for him. Years ago, they had won a dance contest that they had entered on a whim. The prize money paid for a week's groceries. Andy let herself relax in his arms. The awkwardness that they usually had these days was almost gone. It was as if they had never lost each other, had never lived through that hellish fear and anger so many times. This was a moment out of time. She knew Toby felt the same way she did when he gently kissed her. She felt her insides melt a little. Toby's kisses always did. She kissed him back and pressed herself closer to him. He just held her close and whirled them both around with a movement that drew admiring stares from the rest of the crowd. When she looked into his eyes, she forgot entirely about the crowd. They were in a little world of their own. She forgot that they were in a public place; all she could remember was why she married this man in the first place. ------------------- The magic did not shatter when they left, nor did it seem strange to her that he drove her back to the townhouse that they had shared for so many years. And she willingly went with him to the bed they had shared for all those years and allowed herself to once again feel his body on hers. Endearments long forgotten came to her lips as he made love with her, endearments she thought she had forgotten how to say. She had forgotten how well she knew his body, but her hands remembered where he liked to be touched, her lips remembered the places he wanted to be kissed. And his memory of her was astonishing. She sighed and moaned and cried out in pleasure, listening to the soft sounds he made. And when she fell asleep, it was in his arms, curled there as if she had never been away. ------------------- "Well, this is awkward," Andrea said, as she held up her dancing dress. "A little, yes," Toby agreed, a suspicious smirk playing around his mouth. "I am not going home dressed in this." She shook the green taffeta until it rustled in protest. "You don't happen to have anything I can wear, do you?" "I think I can find something," Toby promised, still with that smirk. "Stop it." "Stop what?" "Stop looking at me like that." "How do you want me to look at you?" "Toby..." Andrea dropped the dress to place her hands on her hips. After all, it wasn't as if he'd never seen her naked. "I need to find some clothes. Stop staring at me as if you got laid last night." "I did get laid last night." "And you're very proud of yourself for that, aren't you?" "Of course. You're a beautiful, sexy woman. Besides you got laid, too, so don't whine." "Toby. Clothes." ------------------- Toby unearthed a pair of her old jeans from somewhere and handed her one of his t-shirts. She wiggled into the jeans, struggling to button the top and sighed. At least the shirt was long enough to hide the fact that the jeans were practically painted on. "Nice look, Congresswoman," he said as she came downstairs. "Stuff it, Ziegler," she replied, taking the coffee he held out to her. "Where did you find these?" "You left a bunch of stuff here." "You kept it? That was stuff I was intending on throwing out." "Since when do I have time to clean out the attic?" "Point." Andrea sighed and took a sip of coffee. "I borrowed one of your garment bags to put my dress in. I'll get it back to you sometime next week." "Don't worry about it." "Toby... About last night..." She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. "It was fun. Let's not do it again," Toby said, with a wry twist to his mouth. "I know the drill, Andy." "Toby... Please don't get like that about it," Andrea begged. "I don't want to fight with you anymore." "I still love you," Toby replied softly. "I know. I love you, too. But it's not going to work and you know it." "Yeah." Toby turned away and she felt her heart sink at the sad resignation in his voice. "Thanks for coming with me," she offered. "And last night was fun." "I'll drive you home." "No need. I'll just get a cab." ------------------- It was going to be an unbearable day, Toby thought, as he walked into the west wing of the White House. The report on the fund raiser was the usual fluffy pablum, but the picture was damning. It was a beautiful picture of Andrea, with a smile lighting her lovely face, in his arms. He was smiling, too, and he looked, well, happy. He was going to get teased about that all day. "'Morning, Toby," Ginger called cheerfully as he handed her a cup of coffee, which she exchanged for a handful of messages. "Thanks, Ginger." He nodded to her, thankful that she knew him well enough not to say anything smart mouthed until after he finished his morning coffee. Sam was in his office when he got there, which was not all that unusual. He ignored Sam and dropped his messages on his desk and started to unpack his laptop. "Good morning, Toby," Sam said, with an annoyingly cheerful lilt to his voice. "What do you want, Sam?" "Did you have a nice weekend?" "You come in here, talking to me before my morning coffee, and you want to know if I had a nice weekend?" "It's called small talk, Toby," Sam replied, not at all put off by either the tone or the words. "Conversation. You know, a way of easing into the day?" Sam made a smoothing gesture with his hand. "My weekend was fine," Toby replied, with a hint of impatience. "What do you want?" "Abortion." "Pardon?" "Abortion. I want to talk about abortion." "Is this for personal reasons?" Toby asked, eyeing his deputy with a twinkle in his eye. "No." "'Cause if it is, I really want to hear how you're going to explain this one," Toby continued, this time with a small, but definite smile. "I mean, that thing with Laurie was understandable. Stupid, but understandable. This would be..." "I meant for policy recommendations," Sam put in hastily. "So you're not...?" "No. That's impossible." "Almost as impossible as putting up with you if you were," Toby continued. "The mood swings, the crying, the bloated ankles..." "Look, can we get serious, here?" "I was making conversation, Sam. It's this little thing called small talk." "You know, Toby, there are times when I hate you." "Yes." Toby leaned against his desk and folded his arms. "So why now?" "Pardon?" "Abortion. Why now?" "There's a new report out on the abortion rates and it seems that repeat abortions are up slightly and the average age of women having abortions is lower." "By how much? Within statistical variance?" "Well within, but the raw numbers look bad." "Do you have the report?" "Yes." "Give it here. I'll annotate it for CJ and you and I can go over it after staff." ------------------- "A report gets commissioned, like, eight months ago and it has to show up just after that whole marijuana fiasco," Josh grumbled, waving the abortion report during staff. "It always happens that way," Sam pointed out. "We have no control as to when the report gets tabled. "And the press always find out," CJ added. "We don't want to touch this." "We have to respond," Josh retorted. "We can't just let it slide." "Let the Surgeon General's office take care of it," Toby offered. "They commissioned the report and can interpret it better than we can. We're studying the report." "Or we can use it as a springboard for getting the sex ed report pushed through." Josh turned to Toby. "No, we can't." "Why not?" "Because the President is known for supporting the pro-life side," CJ replied. "If we say anything on abortion other than supporting an all out ban on it, the President looks like a hypocrite." "CJ's right," Leo said. "We leave the issue alone. Abortion is worse than Social Security. We're looking at the report, nothing else." "Got it." CJ made a note. ------------------- "So you and Andy had a good time Saturday night?" CJ commented, as they walked through the West Wing. "CJ..." "I saw the picture, Toby, as I'm sure you already know." She smiled. "Are you two getting back together?" "No." "Jeez, for a guy that looked so happy on Saturday night, you sure are miserable," Josh said, coming up behind them. "On Saturday night, I wasn't putting up with you," Toby responded. "I read that the fund raiser was very successful," CJ continued. "Over eighty thousand for research." "A hundred and eighty," Toby corrected. "Really?" CJ checked her notes. "Somebody left off the first digit on the report sent to me. Now it makes sense." "What does?" "The press release says that Saturday's fund raiser raised more than any other single event in their history. I was sure that that concert series raised over a hundred thousand," she replied, making notes. "You did good there, Pokey." "Don't call me that unless you mean it." "Unless she means what?" Josh asked innocently. "Andy had a specific reason for calling me that, CJ," Toby challenged. "Would you like to know what it is?" "I can guess." CJ grinned. "So can I." Josh looked ill. Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
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